Your Engrish is Goods -Real horrible English Movie Translations

The following quotes were stolen from other sites which stole them from other sites which stole them from a book called Sex and Zen & A Bullet in the Head by Stefan Hammond and Mike Wilkins, who stole them from 1970s and 1980s Hong Kong films. They have little to do with ninja, and even less to do with burgers, but they’re hillarious, and if there’s one thing we can appreciate here it’s silly oriental martial arts humor, especially when it has to do with poorly translated subtitles.

Gun wounds again?

Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

I have been scared like a mouse too much lately.

Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

Bump him dead.

Catherine is a nasbian!

Then pop, he’s gone.

You’re bad. You make my busts up and down.

Don’t do anything perverted, we are in a hurry.

Noodles? Forget it! Try my fist!

Damn you, stink man!

I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

You won’t die in one piece.

What is a soul? It’s just a toilet paper.

Don’t you feel the stink smell?

Your dad is an iron worder, your mom sells beans.

Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

Not any nuts will admit they are nuts!

Miss, shall we make it?

Damn, I’ll burn you in a BBQ chicken!

She’s terrific. I can’t stand her.

Get out, you smurk.

She’s adulterated and cuckolds me.

The fart of God. What does it mean? With a remarkable sound.

My world is to companion with calabash til drunk.

You bastard, try this melon!

You’re petulant, but not concentrated enough.

How can a bullet be breathless!?

I’m not… I’m!

I got knife-scars more than the number of your leg’s hair!

I’m a sneaker.

Poodle Head attacked us.

An enurotic chick who have a bomb in her hand made us take our clothes off.

The reproductive organ was bursted by bullet.

He is the most stupid swordsman in the world of martial arts.

Brother, my pants are coming out.

I’m not Jesus Christ, I’m Bunny.

And these are toes chopped down by spacemen.

Well! Masturbate in hell!

Suck the coffin mushroom now.

You always use violence. I should have ordered the glutinous rice chicken.

Be a tearn and don’t bite at each other.

A big fool, with a gun, go to war. Surrendered and turned to a cake.

Ok! I’ll Bastare, show your guts!

Suddenly my worm are all healed off.

I’ll cut your fats out, don’t you believe it?

Designing is very brain-consuming.

I’ll give birth to a stuff for you in 10 months, OK?

The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

And you thought. I’m gabby bag.

I can’t only jump to dead if you force me on.

Watch out, the road is very sweaty.

Pierce his face loci.

Beat him out of recognizable shape!

There’s no way you can trust her. Her missile is gigantic.

With potbelly facing Heaven, he’ll be Herculean.

I’ll fire aimlessly if you don’t come out!

The 5 infants will creep out and kill people.

Quiet or I’ll blow your throat up.

Stick back your heads.

The wolves will burst your tits this time!

Well, I’ve got furious now!

Don’t tell any that I have high anxiety or I’ll beat you up!

You have a gun, return him with the bullet.

Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

Sock him unconscious.

Maniac! Be smart and release them, or I’ll root out your clan.

I have been scared shitless too much lately.

You’re crazy mad-nutcase.

That may disarray my intestines.

Boss, Zhao is ridiculous.

Oh, are they chewing gums or my hearing’s wrong?

Give me your urine… urine cures inner injury. Do you want more? No. Yours is not so good.

A normal person wouldn’t steal pituitaries. That’s reasonable.

Tell him a hill will collide into his car tonight.

Check if there’s a hole in my underpant? No! I saw a vomiting crab.

He’s Big Head Man, he is lousing around.

No smoking, I know, but this is hemp.

Let me make a mark on your chest. No. I want to wear low-cuts.

No ripping off? How about jerking.

The tongue is so ugly. Let’s imagine it to be Tom Cruise.

Take my advice, or I’ll spank you without pants.

So you really are fully bruised? No bruises on the tongue, the palm or the buttocks.

You’re a bad guy, where’s your library card?

A red moon? Why don’t you say blue buttocks?

Sex is something necessary in one’s life. Good, you are my friend then.

Guns! You think I’m meaning puppy?

You cheat ghosts to eat tofu?

You daring lousy guy.

How can you use my intestines as a gift?

You’re stain!

Today we’re here to purge a bourgeois slut who only cares for immoral sex and hedonism. She stole a pair of basketball shoes from the Fatherland.

Don’t shout. Balls are not broken yet. Yeah? My iron balls are like marshmallows now!

This is not Taiwan. This is Hong Kong! How can you go around hitting people on the head all the time?

This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.

Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.

Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.