your best worst jokes

i know you've got some jokes that are so bad they're almost good, give us your best shot...

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  • 8

    So the famous fighter pilot gustav is eating dinner with his dainty wench. After eating, she says to him, "Gustav, would you like to kiss me?" and he says, eagerly, "Yes! I am a famous fighter pilot!" and proceeds to open a bottle of red wine, and sloshes it all over her face. She says, "What the hell is your problem?"
    "I am a famous fighter pilot, and when I eat red meat, I like to have red wine with it."
    They start to make out. After kissing awhile, she says, "Gustav, would you like to kiss a little bit lower?"
    "Yes! I am a famous fighter pilot!" at which point he takes a bottle of white wine and sloshes it on her breasts. "What the fuck did you do that for? Now I'm cold!" she says. "I am a famous fighter pilot. when I eat white meat, I like white wine." and proceeds to lick her breasts.
    After some of that, she says, "Gustav, would you like to kiss even lower?"
    "Yes! I am a famous fighter pilot!"

    He takes a bottle of vodka, dumps it on her crotch, and lights it on fire. Screaming, the girl sobs, "Something is wrong with you! why would you do that? get me some water, fast!"
    And Gustav calmly replies, "I am a famous fighter pilot, and when I go down, I go down in flames!"

    That was great! xD

    - XxDaminalsxX April 11, 2011, 4:18 am
  • 4

    What do you call a black person who flys a plane ??? A pilot you fucking racist

    What do you call it when a person from middle management makes it all the way to upper management ??? A promotion

    3785 - your best worst jokes

    - bufus101 April 8, 2011, 11:01 am
  • 4

    Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper?
    He sold his soul to santa ;D

  • 3

    joseph - your best worst jokes

    that is actually quite a good one
    - JonnymusPrime April 8, 2011, 10:54 am
    thats why i just had to share it
    - Reddeath195 April 8, 2011, 10:57 am
  • 3

    Why can't dinosaurs drive?

    Because they're dead.

  • 3

    Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

    Went down the road and turned into a field.

    • SuDoku
    • April 8, 2011, 11:26 am
    Dear god, these jokes are so bad they are making me laugh too much I'm coughing.
    - DarkHunter April 8, 2011, 4:34 pm
  • 3

    sean connery celebrity jeaopardy

    By far the best.
    - magickittensfly April 8, 2011, 8:08 pm
  • 3

    Hydrogen atom A said to Hydrogen atom B "i think i lost an electron", B said "are you sure?" and A said "im positive"

    ahhh chemistry jokes <3
    - Pyutchy8011 April 9, 2011, 1:43 pm
    Apparently protons have mass. I didn't even know they were catholic.
    - CrazyJay April 9, 2011, 3:24 pm
  • 2

    A man walked into a bar and said 'ouch'

  • 2

    Knock Knock.
    Who's there?
    Cows say.
    Cows say who?
    No silly cows say moo!

    • ember
    • April 8, 2011, 11:23 am
    - DarkHunter April 8, 2011, 4:34 pm
    You don't like my joke?
    - ember April 9, 2011, 10:22 am
    It's silly, and what's with all the awesome cats. They make me feel guilty when I say something wrong to you!
    - DarkHunter April 9, 2011, 2:33 pm
  • 1

    Once there were two tomatoes that were walking over a road, then a car ran over them and they died.

    Rofl, such a nice joke XD
    - DarkHunter April 8, 2011, 4:33 pm
  • 1

    i would put sarcastic responses on here like "good one..." and "never heard that one before..." but that's kinda the whole point of this post

  • 1

    what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust!

  • 1

    You-what do u get when u cross a pickle and a pop tart>
    Person- i dont know, what?
    You- idk i was hoping u could tell me

  • 1

    Biggest Dad joke ever:
    Wait for someone to say "I feel like an ice-cream (or other item of food or drink)"
    Quickly respond with "That's funny, you don't look like one."

    another one of those is when someone tells you a knock knock joke:
    ''knock knock''
    ''COME IN...'' :P
    - BadassSquirrel April 9, 2011, 11:59 am
  • 1

    1.You:You have to give it to them
    Other person:Who?
    You:Ticket inspectors

    2.You:I got a job at a bowling alley
    Other person:Ten Pin
    You:No, permanent

  • 1

    2 guys are at a bar drinking and a girl walks up to white white guy and they go in the bathroom and start fucking then he sees horns coming out of her head so he jumps out the window and dies then she walks up to the mexican and takes him back to the bathroom he sees the horns and says odale handle bars. LOL

  • 1

    A baby seal walks into a bar. He sits on one of the stools right at the bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you?" The seal says "I'll have a whiskey please." The bartender asks "Which brand would you like?" to which the seal responds "Anything but Canadian Club!"

  • 1

    What did the dentist say to his wife before he left for work? "Fuck you bitch!"

  • 1

    What does a fish say when it swims into a concrete wall? DAMN!

  • 1

    Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a foot-long. ;D

    There's also this.

    A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.

    He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

    Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes.

    The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde
    genies disappear.

    The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a golf-course mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women.

    After he makes love to all of them, he begins to
    explore this fabulous house.

    Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet,
    he looks down and the floor is covered in $100

    Then, there's a knock at the door.

    He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead.

    As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods. It's the two blonde genies.

    One blonde genie says to the other one, 'I can
    understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to.

    I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.

    But why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me.

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