Worst Video Game Movies
Super Mario Brothers (1993)
The first major film based on a game is also among the worst ever. We’re not sure what’s worse: Jon Leguizamo failing to sport a moustache as an undersized Luigi, or Dennis Hopper’s cheap Halloween makeup. Mama Mia!
Double Dragon (1994)
Featuring a pre-“Party of Five” Scott Wolf and a post-“Terminator 2” Robert Patrick, this weak action effort was the first in a long line of films based on video games that didn’t really have a plot. Fine for a button-masher, not so fine for a film.
Street Fighter (1994)
Boasting acting great Raul Julia, karate king Jean-Claude Van Damme and pop diva Kylie Minogue, you’d think this fighting flick would have at least packed some punch. And you’d be wrong. Critics smacked it into the bargain bin faster than you can holler “Hadooken!”
Wing Commander (1999)
In space, no one can hear you scream. In theaters, everyone can hear you scream for your money back. So lame was this intergalactic epic, it marked the beginning of a career slide for Freddie Prinze Jr…. although to be fair, he couldn’t have landed this jalopy with “Sully” Sullenberger as his wingman.
House of the Dead (2003)
Like its shambling stars, this abhorrent action romp based on a light gun game was desperately in need of some brains. It was also the first of many adaptations to be helmed by the king of bad video game films, German director Uwe Boll. Hailed by some as the worst video game film of all time — and we’re not going to argue.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
Second verse, same as the first! Uwe Boll’s follow-up film enjoyed a bigger budget and some much bigger stars (Christian Slater, Tara Reid), but such luxuries couldn’t save this supernatural sucker from utter disaster. Panned by critics and avoided by moviegoers, it was quite lonely, indeed.
Dead or Alive (2006)
Ever wonder what Bruce Lee’s Enter the Dragon would have looked like if it starred Jamie Pressley as a white-trash wrestler and Eric Roberts as a billionaire svengali? Wonder no more. Loosely based on a plot-less fighting franchise, it grossed only $260,000 in its first week of release. Dead or Alive? More like Dead on Arrival.
Great actors claim that they do it for the love of the craft, but we get the feeling those fat paychecks help a bit, too. What else could explain legendary thespian Ben Kingsley’s involvement in this abysmal Uwe Boll vampire flick? Nominated for a whopping six Golden Raspberry Awards!
Silent Hill (2006)
Despite claiming the number one spot in its opening weekend, this befuddling horror film was mocked by critics for being too confusing for even fans of the game to follow. Still, most agreed that it looked good, which is more than we can say for most of Silent Hill’s nasty inhabitants.
In the Name of the King: Dungeon Siege (2008)
The A-listers lined up to appear in Uwe Boll’s lame “Lord of the Rings” ripoff, but even the likes of Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds and Jason Statham couldn’t save it from the gallows. Bonus points for actually hiding the game name (Dungeon Siege) in its verbose title.
Some would call Uwe Boll’s latest affront to filmmaking a shining example of political satire. Others would call it downright lousy. We’d tell you to see it and decide for yourself, but we agree with the second group. Return to sender.