stoned thoughs

1.why is selfridges called selfridges when they dont sell fridges.

2.i think hitler have the right idea just choose the wrong race

3.shit i fell up the stairs with a cup of hot tea.

4.dad do u know how u told me about the birds and the bees, well i fucked a bee dad 😀

5.paramore broke up and i cant find a fucking knife to cut myself.

6.my anal hair is very long and i want to set it on fire.

7.wookies are ewoks on steroids.

8.my mate is passes out on the floor im gonna draw a cock on his face.

9.he isnt happy.

10.how can my eye be lazy when it wanders so freely.

11.i have gum in my mouth… i havent bought any gum in like a month.

12.i just remembered that i danced with a hobo tonight BEST NIGHT EVER!

13.holy shit balls its almost christmas.

14.AND IIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!

15.ma spoons too big.

17. im a banana

18.my anus is bleeding.

19.mancunion for ever!!!

20.PARAWHORE AND PROUD.

21.im sooooo fucin blazed.

22. i have a exam in two days

23.did u know i can fit a who kit kat in my mouth

24.i just sniffed a ant

25.hayley williams….i would.

26.did u notice that 16 was missing

27. ok im bored now.