1.why is selfridges called selfridges when they dont sell fridges.
2.i think hitler have the right idea just choose the wrong race
3.shit i fell up the stairs with a cup of hot tea.
4.dad do u know how u told me about the birds and the bees, well i fucked a bee dad 😀
5.paramore broke up and i cant find a fucking knife to cut myself.
6.my anal hair is very long and i want to set it on fire.
7.wookies are ewoks on steroids.
8.my mate is passes out on the floor im gonna draw a cock on his face.
9.he isnt happy.
10.how can my eye be lazy when it wanders so freely.
11.i have gum in my mouth… i havent bought any gum in like a month.
12.i just remembered that i danced with a hobo tonight BEST NIGHT EVER!
13.holy shit balls its almost christmas.
14.AND IIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!
15.ma spoons too big.
17. im a banana
18.my anus is bleeding.
19.mancunion for ever!!!
20.PARAWHORE AND PROUD.
21.im sooooo fucin blazed.
22. i have a exam in two days
23.did u know i can fit a who kit kat in my mouth
24.i just sniffed a ant
25.hayley williams….i would.
26.did u notice that 16 was missing
27. ok im bored now.