sharenators help me!!

I can't quit smoking. Iv tried the patches and the gum. Still cant quit. Anybody got some tips for me? Id greatly appreciate it.

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world, iv done it a thousand times
-Mark Twain

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  • 4

    Sew your own mouth shut.

    • Ertrov
    • February 20, 2011, 11:08 am
  • 4

    Right, this will not be easy, and you might won't to stop it at any time but you must go on...
    What you have to do is get quite a strong bag, strong straps, and is comfy while carrying a heavy load, then hire out a midget 24/7 and put him in the bag he will smack you in the face with a hammer whenever you get a fag out or to simply punch you when you look at someone who's smoking for to long.
    I hope this helped you.

  • 3

    My mom used tootsie pops to do it you may want to try something that satisfy your need for something like a cig. in your mouth.

    • gemie89
    • February 20, 2011, 11:06 am
    lmao i got something.....
    - xxkisamexx February 20, 2011, 11:11 am
    - GinjaNinja February 20, 2011, 11:17 am
    - thekitkatkid February 20, 2011, 11:50 am
    I was thinking the exact same thing when I read that xD
    You lot were talking about your thumbs right?
    - DarkHunter February 20, 2011, 12:01 pm
    - JDLRATX February 20, 2011, 1:18 pm
  • 3

    I hope this helps
    mdgnp - sharenators help me!!

  • 2

    this might nto be the best alternative....but move somewhere where marijuana is legal its less harmful than cigarettes and u cnt get addicted to it

    - Goober February 20, 2011, 2:06 pm
    oh hell yea if i could smoke a fatass blunt everytime i wanted a smoke id be fine
    - christian6569 February 20, 2011, 3:58 pm
    fuckin a bro
    - exile February 21, 2011, 8:46 pm
  • 2

    have a doctor sew an electro training machine on your privates, set it to cigarettes.
    now, you will never want to even think of smoking, ever again.

  • 2

    Do it with your discipline, just hold yourself few days from it. Try eat more food maybe, chew gum. Later try to eat less and less, because eating associates with smoking avoid coffee and coca-cola. I have quit many times, but alcohol brings me back and back again. Actually I have replaced nicotine addiction with good chocolate few times a day. Works good for me. Good luck.

    You can also try:
    Allen Carr's Easyway To Stop Smoking Book and Long distance running :)

    • Darius
    • February 20, 2011, 1:17 pm
  • 1

    I really don't see how hard it is. I think it's just the placebo affect- you think it's hard just because everyone says it's hard.

  • 1

    1. If you want serious advice, there are plenty of quitting sites/programs available. This website should be at the bottom of your list.

    2. Since you asked, I'll try to help anyway. So you've tried gum and patches. Have you ever tried gradually smoking less? How many ciggarettes do you smoke a day? It's an addiction, not everyone can go cold turkey and never look back.

    iv tried it all just cant do it i need some old schol home remmedie lol
    - christian6569 February 20, 2011, 4:01 pm
  • 1

    go to a group and get fuckin help! or you can taje the hard route and every time you take a puff poke you tonge with a niddle

  • 1

    if you smoke this happens! lol
    4ca9a9ee 0e45 7b0e

    you need everyweek you go without smoking,go eat out somewhere

    • 720Z
    • February 20, 2011, 1:55 pm
    this could work
    - christian6569 February 20, 2011, 4:00 pm
    now that i think about it...the picture makes complete since
    - 720Z February 20, 2011, 4:06 pm
    - TexBex February 21, 2011, 10:25 am
  • 1

    it is all just a mental thing. i stopped smoking by staying busy and every time i wanted i a cig i would eat a cinnamon candy. something about the cinnamon would take my mind off getting a cig.

  • 1

    Everytime you want to smoke, smack yourself in the face or between the legs until the pain is so great you forget your urge. Repeat until the desire to smoke comes with a fear of the oncoming pain.

    ...or get a nice friend to do that for you ^^ We would, but we don't like people nor being in public and our life as a Kermit suits us too well.

    • Dawn
    • February 20, 2011, 5:48 pm
    Yeah... Don't think a guy would hit himself in the balls. And if his friends did that they are dicks. No pun intended?
    - DarkicoN13 February 20, 2011, 6:05 pm
  • 1

    The truth is that you probably deep down don't want to stop smoking. You have to get there mentally first then follow through. When you are ready to you have to make sure that you leave no room for temptation. Don't think oh it's only one because that will be the down fall. Either that or you can go with Upsidedownies idea....

  • 1

    Could do with stopping myself spend roughly £98 a week on fags (more if im out on the piss) that is over five grand (sterling) a year on fags.

  • 1

    Every time you have a smoke, just before you put it out, burn your own wrist with the butt... I give you 3 days tops, and you'll never touch another cigarette again.

    i might just try that but i gotta be honest ill probably keep smokin regardless its pretty bad
    - christian6569 February 21, 2011, 7:41 pm
    Just make sure you don't burn yourself too bad, too many sores make you look like a meth addict who got carried away trying to scratch the bugs out from under his skin :D
    - BacktoZero February 21, 2011, 8:28 pm
    yea some people dont like ciggarettes but nobody likes meth. well except meth addicts of course
    - christian6569 February 21, 2011, 8:44 pm
  • 1

    well i successfully quit smoking a few times and heres how i did it...
    first time i was 17, and i was on house arrest for something stupid, so i didint have much of a choice.
    second time i had motivation, a.k.a a girl friend, ( i also quit drinking kuz it was really hard not to smoke when i drank)
    3rd time i got fired and couldnt afford to smoke any more...
    now i smoke again, and im having a hard time quitting... i kinda quit quitting after a while

  • 1

    give all your money to me, that way you cant afford to buy cigs :)

    • February 21, 2011, 10:45 pm
  • -3

    just stop, simple. stop being a faggot and say no

    dude chill theres no reason to be a dick to someone you dont know just cuz their asking for some help with something
    - christian6569 February 20, 2011, 4:02 pm
    no shit right. stopping smoking is hard. doubt jakematsui would know though from the sound of his response.
    - ricochetrabbit February 20, 2011, 4:07 pm
    hes not a dick..he's an arse
    - 720Z February 20, 2011, 4:07 pm
    It's called tough love -.-
    I'm not saying it isn't hard, I'm just saying that sometimes you just have to 'bite the bullet' and deal with it. They're in a position that they don't want to be in and it's their fault they're there and they shouldn't get sympathetic responses.
    - jakematsui February 21, 2011, 12:20 am
    He's not asking for sympathy, he's asking for practical help.
    - TexBex February 21, 2011, 10:27 am
    I never said he was asking for sympathy, I just don't think he should receive sympathetic responses.
    - jakematsui February 21, 2011, 10:34 am
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