okay sharenator i need to tell everyone this

if no ones noticed i have been offline for a long ass time. i wont be on sharenator much anymore cause of my internet providers. (im at chick fil a right now) i will be back on sharenator i have not left forever or shit like that. i should have a new internet access in about 7 days, but even then im going to be working most of the summer and i dont know if they have internet there( it's at a camp). anyway i will tell you whats happened in my life for the past few mounths. i have stoped writeing one book and started writeing another. it's fuckin epic right now. my grammar and spelling have improved i guess. my dad failed rehab. and just to fill up the post i will inclued some of my book in it. untill i return i still love sharenator and mostly everyone on it.( in the best freind kind of way).im starting you in chapter 2 sence chapter one's short and chapter threes not done

As I was walking down the hall way, I noticed some guys and told them to follow me. One had nothing but a pistol so I threw him the machine gun he managed to catch it. We started down the hall, when we got to the door we each took a side of it. On the other side of it was the cafeteria. We opened the door and a man was being shot at. He needed to get some cover or else he would die.
“ Push over a table and give us some cover!”, I commanded one of my men.
He ran to the table and hefted it over on it‘s side, but he took a few body shots as he did. I ran behind the table and got up my shotgun. I took quick aim and hit one of the Hiken square in the chest. He fell to the ground screaming and writhing in pain on the litter covered floor. Heh, stupid little fuck. Now there were only 3 of them to take out.
“ Use suppressive fire.”, I whispered.
“ Yes sir.”
“ On my mark. 3...2.…1... Now!”
Everyone simultaneously stood and began to unloaded their guns. Blood splattered everywhere but there was only one dead. The other two bastards had taken cover behind a table. I vaulted over our own cover table and made a dash for their own. I jumped over the table they hid behind kicking one in the face as I did so.
“ Die.” I made quick work of the far one as he looked up startled. Taking aim and nailing him in the head. The other one’s nose was crushed in. I didn’t feel like wasting a bullet on something that was going to die anyways so my boot found his skull. Crushing it with a sickening crunch.
I walked back over to the first guy I shot and picked him up.
“ What the hell are you guys doing here?”
“ Fuck off!”
“ Damn it, answer me!” I bashed his head against the wall. I needed to get answers quick. He wasn’t going to be around much longer with that bullet in his chest.
“ Aghh!”
“ Now then, do I have to hurt you more?”, I said getting real close to his ear. “I’m capable of torture that you can’t even fathom!!”
“ No.” he coughed up blood. “ We were sent here to kill everyone and blow up the ship.”, he garbled through mouthfuls of blood. A moan of pain escaped his lips and then his body started to convulse as it hit the floor. That was way too damned easy. “P-p-please!”, he cried; his eyes going wild.
“What?”, I asked, kneeling down beside him.
“De-de-death…” He could barely get the word out. His eyes started to roll to the back of his head.
“Nah, I think I’d better let you suffer.”
I stood and faced the man to my left, “ Well now we have to kill everyone of them and there might be a bomb. We need to find it and deactivate it before we’re blown to smithereens. Do any of you know where the ship came in on?” I said has I was reloading the gun.
“ It’s near the bottom of the ship sir.”
“ Go to the escape pods and get ready to leave if you have to.”
“ We can’t just leave you here si-.”
“ Go now!”
“ But sir!”
“ Now! Damn it!” They looked at me with uncertainty in their eyes.
“ Yes sir.”, and they walked away in the direction of the pods.
I picked up all the guns in the room with all the ammo I was going to have to go through. There was hell waiting for me at the bottom of this ship. I got in the elevator and headed down.
The elevator stopped suddenly. They must have cut off the power. I look around. I noticed the emergency exit and broke it open. I pulled myself out of the top of the elevator and turned on the night vision installed in the suits helmet. I saw the number five next to the door about three feet above me. Realizing I that I still had quite a ways to go I went to the side of the elevator and slid down it. And I saw the fourth floor about a foot below me, I jumped onto to the little bit of floor right in front of the door and I managed to slip my hands between it and pry it open. I walked out a saw blood smeared walls and dead bodies. Some of them were rebels, but most of them were civilians that were training on the ship. There was a map on the wall. I quickly found out where the armory was. The map signified that it had been breached
“ Shit! They might be trying to take all our weapons as well!”
Damn it I need to go and stop them from… explosions. Shit. I need to see if they’d stolen the guns. I made my way to the armory and by time I got there, only about five people were protecting it. There were no Hikens in sight. I sighed with relief as I walked pass them and I picked up ammo for my shotgun, put a pistol in my holster and a semi sniper rifle on my back. I found a heavily armored chest plate and put it on.
“ Stay here and don’t follow me.” I demanded.
“ Yes sir.”
I walked out and looked at the map again. I found were the nearest stairs were and started running to them.
When I got to the stairs and started going down them I noticed two guys talking to each other. I pulled up my sniper rifle and took aim. The one on the right had a shotgun while the other had a machine gun. I smiled as I aimed the gun at the guy on the left and took his head clean off with a bit of a splatter. The other one freaked out and pointed the gun in my direction. I shot the gun from his hand and started to walk toward him reloading my sniper rifle.
He tried to run off but I caught him by his neck and started to lightly choke him.
“ Where’s the bomb?”
“ Like I’ll tell you!”
I hit him against the wall “ I’m going to only ask this one more time nicely. where’s the bomb?”
“ Fuck you!”
I punched him three times in the stomach, and then grabbed his arm and broke it. “ Now then. I don’t need to ask you again do I?”
“ Aghh! Fine I tell you it’s in the med lodge.”
“ Do you think I’m fucking stupid?” I slammed him to the wall and took my knife out, rasping it along his jugular. I started to put on a little pressure and his eyes went wide. They borred into mine pleading for some sort of sympathy. The little bastard didn’t think I’d do it. Of course, there were other way of making a man talk. I drug the knife across his chest making a jaggad gash from his shoulder to his hip. The sound of his scream told me all I needed to know. “Now tell me where the bomb is you little twat or I guess I’ll just have to gut you piece by piece. You wouldn’t want that now would you?” The man swallowed and swallowed again.
“ It’s in the ship we came in on.” he coughed. “The bomb hasn’t been unloaded yet. It was going to be the last thing we were going to do!”
“Thanks.” I said with a smile. I got up close, letting my knife part his ribcage and cracked it open. I dropped the knife and took his heart in my hand. The pitiful thing was still beating. Even after all it’d been through. I ripped his heart from his chest and held it before his eyes. “Did you know that it takes thirty seconds to actually die after you’re head’s been chopped off? I’m sure it’s not too different in a case like this. Now you listen here, whatever righteous cause you think you’re following, it’s far from it. There was never a wrong done to either your people or the universe. We were preventing you’re demise you ignorant bastard! Now die and rest knowing that you’ve only hastened you’re races demise.” I dropped him and glanced at the four chambered muscle in my hand. Funny how this ugly little thing could be one of the only things that stood between life and death. I cast it down hearing the dull thud on the floor and headed to the bottom of the ship.
Has I was going down the stairs I met a squad Hikens I feel as if they enjoyed it. Only 1 of them died by the knife the others took some shots from the pistol. Only one managed to live the shots what happened next wasn’t very good for him.
“ Okay, the map says that the breach is down that way.” I looked to my left and found a door. “ To easy.” I turned on the x ray vision and looked through the door. There was 10 guys they were unloading the bomb and some of there men were loading weapons that they stole from the armories. They had hostages, 3 women, some solders, and the women that woke me up. They started to execute the solders by driving a knife their eye and twisting it around, and they put the women on their ship. “ Shit. These people are more fucked up then I thought.” I whispered
I looked up and found a vent.
“ There.”
I jumped up onto the wall and grabbed the bars of the vent I ripped them off and started to crawl through. I reached the end and I aimed my sniper rifle at man that was executing my solders and I shot him in the head. Then I shot the enemy setting the bomb. I put my sniper rifle back and kicked the screen open and jumped put with the pistol and shot the guys about to kill the hostages. When I hit the ground I ran behind cover and reloaded my pistol.
One of the solders stood up and picked up a gun and started to shot some of the Hikens. After I flipped over the cover I was behind and shot one of them in the head. Before I hit the ground I slammed my hand on the ground and rolled over and started to kneel. I saw one of them in the shadows. I started to shoot at him, but the bullets did nothing but plink off.
“ What the fuck?”
Then I saw why he was impossible to kill he was wearing some battle suit that was basically bullet prove and he had a chain gun with him too. Just my luck. His suit was clean cobalt. It had a small helmet and a metal covered exosuit ( which made him strong enough to hold it up with out getting crushed.) He started up his chain gun and started to shoot at me. I dived to the side and behind a wall, the bullets whistled pass my head as I did. I heard screams from where my soldiers were and then nothing. I pulled up my sniper rifle and checked the ammo. There where only 3 shots left in the clip. I have to make this count. if I didn’t, then I’d die. I jumped out from the wall with both of my guns out. I fired all of my sniper rifle bullets and four shotgun shells at his head. I noticed that I cracked his helmet.
“ I know his weakness. He’s fucked know.”, I said giving a smirk
He seemed to hear me because he went into a rage and started to unload his chain gun wildly at me. I put my shotgun on my back and threw the sniper rifle at his head which cracked his helmet a bit more. Then while he was dazed I ran at a wall and started to run up the side of it. When I reached to top I slammed my foot in to the wall to hold me still for a bit then I charged at him. I jumped off the wall and landed on top of him with my feet on his shoulders. I punched his mask and it broke and he fell to the ground. The man about twenty five he had a scar going from his ear to his mouth. He kicked me in the stomach and pushed me off at the same time. He got up and started his chain gun I was in to much pain to move he kicked strait through the amour I found and reopened the wound a bit I could feel the blood flowing down under my shirt. The chain gun started to spin but it didn’t fire. Good he’s out of ammo. I got to my feet and ran at him when I got close to him he tried to kick me but I ducked under him and grabbed the back of his amour and flipped him over my back. He landed face first I pulled out my knife and stabbed at the back of his head but he grabbed it and broke it. I kicked his head towed his suit and broke his jaw them I stomped on it making his brains splatter all over the floor.
“ Now the bomb.” I grabbed the bomb and pulled it into the ship they came in on.
I found the women that they kidnapped and freed them.
The short women came up to me. “Thank you. Now we have to get this bomb deactivated.”
“ Don’t worry I got it.” I said throwing her out the ship
The ship was small it couldn’t be what they used as a mother ship, so there has to be a bigger ship. I saw it. It was at least twice has big has ours.
“ How are they getting a hold of this stuff!”
I made the ship pull away from our ship. And I drove it towards their ship. After about 2 minutes of driving it toward it I set it into auto drive after I aimed it toward the fuel station the bomb was going to go off any minute. I strapped it onto the support for the ship and I kicked the back door open and jumped toward my ship. I looked back to see the fireworks.
I smiled and laughed at the same time as the ship hit the fuel station a went up in blue flames. Then the fire engulfed most of the ship then the bomb blew. most the ship that had fire over it was demolished to nothing and tiny explosions went through out what was left of the ship and in each spot a flame started. The radio turned on.
“ Shit did he just kill himself?”
“ No mama we scanned it before it hit there was no life signs.”
“ Legand seven-four-five come in… are you there?”
“ Yeah I’m here.”
“ Good we’ll send a eagle to you.”
I sat there waiting for it to show up watching as the last bits of the ship got caught in the gravity of shadow and burnt up in the atmosphere.
When I got back to the ship the short women said her name was Rachel.
I looked at her grimly and said. “ We have a problem.”
“ What is it?”
“ The rebels ship was at least twice has big as ours.”
Her eyes widen. “ And they had better guns then us.” I said
“ How could they have gotten hold of that?” she asked me nervously
“ I don’t know but we need to find the people doing it.”
I started to the med loge to get my wound resealed.
“ I think I might know who did it.” she said
“ Who?”
“ I tell you later go get some rest.”
“ Yes mama.”
I walked to the med loge and they gave me some medicine to fall asleep.

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    nah im good
    - castlewarsisawsome July 2, 2011, 10:32 am
    Took ya a whole month to respond?
    - DarkicoN13 July 2, 2011, 11:34 am
    Indeed, he's so rude.
    - DarkHunter July 2, 2011, 11:54 am
    did you not read what i wrote?
    - castlewarsisawsome July 9, 2011, 7:10 am
  • 2

    did not read lol

  • 1

    Good-ish post +2

    • peace
    • June 3, 2011, 3:26 am
    well it's not a lie im only going to be on sharenator till my battrey dies
    - castlewarsisawsome June 3, 2011, 3:28 am
  • 1

    This isn't you, this is actually readable.

    well i have gottin better like i said i need to get better at writeing if i want to write a book
    - castlewarsisawsome June 3, 2011, 4:22 am
    tip-writing is not spelled with the e. atleast i dont think it is...anywho goodluck with the book!
    - arrowdodger7 June 4, 2011, 2:17 am
  • 1

    That's some pretty decent fiction, sir.
    I've made a few changes, just so you could look at how other people might choose to right something similar. I based it on your plot, although I did change a few things, but wrote no where near as much as you did.
    If you want any more help, feel free to ask. I'm quite happy to write more if you find it constructive.
    This is without knowledge any of what's happening, so please let me know if I've got the complete wrong end of the stick!

    Pacing down the dimly lit hallway, I spied a dark, huddled group of figures towards its end, talking discreetly amongst themselves. Approaching them, I was greeted by sceptical looks and an overpowering sense of mistrust. Introducing myself and shaking hands as necessary, they seemed to consider me less of a threat once I assured them we were fighting for the same cause. I invited them to join with me, of the four; three took me up on my offer, the other, less trusting, choosing to remain as he was, more favourable to his own plan of attack. Catching sight of a revolver’s hilt in on of their pockets, I offered him my machine gun, thinking he might need it more than me. He gratefully accepted it, and caught is clumsily as I tossed to him in the air. Continuing the ten or so meters towards to the end of the hall, we came to two large green doors, the plastic plaque above them clearly reading ‘cafeteria’. On the other side, a volley of shots thundered, mixed with angry shouts. Kicking open the left door with the heel of my boot, we saw a young, bald man diving for cover behind an upturned table. Taking cover behind the walls on either side of the doors, we recognised the characteristically dark uniform of the enemy: the Hiken.
    Catching eyes with the bald man, his sense of helplessness struck me to my core and I knew I had to help him. By this point, the Hiken were aware of our arrival and had accommodated for it by taking cover behind the service counter. Counting four of them, I pushed the magazine gruffly into my pistol and, letting out a deep breath, readied myself to face them. As one opened himself to take a shot, I rounded the door frame and fired three shots in quick succession. The first two were marginally wide, one ricocheting of a pan behind him with a sonorous clash, leaving it swinging wildly. The third, however, hit him squarely in the forehead, resulting in him collapsing in a heap out of sight.
    Signally to the three men I had picked up, I reloaded and whispered, on my call, to shoot. Mouthing the countdown, I reached zero and unblinkingly let off a magazine without stopping. The noise was tremendous, and as my gun made the familiar click of an empty magazine, we stood by with keen ears. One of the Hiken lay sprawled across the floor, visible bullet holes in his chest, abdomen and neck. Thinking the other one to have fled, we approached the startled man behind the table, when a moan resounded. Preparing ourselves a final time, we stepped cautiously towards the sound’s origin. What we saw was a wreck of a man, his face hardly recognisable as a curtain of blood poured forth from below his hair line, masking his face. I felt a pang of guilt in the pit of my stomach but, suppressing it, gave him a cold look of disdain.
    ‘Where’s the bomb?’ I asked, straining to keep emotion from my voice. The man only replied with a guttural cough. Even without any medical experience, I knew this man was beyond any help, his face whitening in pallor. Realising that he was going to be of no help, I raised my gun and pointed it squarely at the Hiken’s head. One of the men came behind me and brushed my gun away with a smirk.
    ‘Leave the bastard’, he said in a deep, Scotch accent, his eyes alight with the innate and unholy excitement that war can bring.

  • 1

    WTF?! Somebody throw a pie!

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