He’s Matt Bellamy – TMIMITW

Matt Bellamy could make an infertile woman have twins.

Without Muse there’d be no Matt Bellamy? Rather, without Matt Bellamy, there’d be no music.

Christianity in the world is rapidly decreasing. The cause? They now worship Matt Bellamy.

Matt Bellamy doesn’t have to heat his food. His proximity and hotness can cook it.

Matt Bellamy could wake someone up from a coma.

Matt Bellamy could put someone in a coma.

Girls lose their innocence when they look at Matt Bellamy.

Matt Bellamy knows the last digit of pi.

Matt Bellamy doesn’t kill two birds with one stone. Matt Bellamy kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.

When Matt Bellamy wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Count from one to ten. That’s how long it would take Matt Bellamy to give you an orgasm…fourty seven times.

Matt Bellamy had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

A man once taunted Matt Bellamy with a bag of Lay’s potato chips, saying “Betcha can’t eat just one!” Matt Bellamy proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn’t chasing the jeep. Matt Bellamy was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Matt Bellamy did not “lose” his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

Matt Bellamy’s pulse is measured on the richter scale.

For Matt Bellamy, every street is “one way”. HIS WAY.

Matt Bellamy successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by staring at them with his beautiful eyes. When they realized only one of them could have him, they separated themselves so they could fight over him.

People have often asked the England, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply…Matt Bellamy.

Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Matt Bellamy is looking for it.

Matt Bellamy doesn’t go at the speed of light. Light goes at the speed of Matt Bellamy.

Matt Bellamy is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Matt Bellamy is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox.

Matt Bellamy can split the atom. With his falsetto.

Matt Bellamy let the dogs out.

Matt Bellamy body temperature is 98.6 degrees… Celsius.

When Matt Bellamy is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.

Matt Bellamy invented the question mark.

Matt Bellamy trick-or-treated as himself as a child.

Matt Bellamy make onions CRY!!!

Matt Bellamy is not only a noun, but a verb.

When Matt Bellamy works out at the gym, he doesn’t sweat. The weights do.

Matt Bellamy taught Michael Jackson the moonwalk.

Matt Bellamy knows Victoria’s secret.

Matt Bellamy can drown a fish.

Matt Bellamy can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Matt Bellamy can delete the recycling bin.

Jesus can walk on water, but Matt Bellamy can swim through land.

God said let there be light. Matt Bellamy said say please.

Matt Bellamy can get a Black-Jack with one card.

It takes Matt Bellamy 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Matt Bellamy can squeeze orange juice from a banana.

Once Matt Bellamy was having sex in a pick up truck, a bit of his sperm made it to the engine. This pick up truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Matt Bellamy does not have crooked teeth. Everyone else’s teeth are simply too straight.

Matt Bellamy is able to make the sound of one hand clapping. The rest of humanity perceives this sound as a solar eclipse.

When Jeronimo jumps out of a plane he yells “Matt Bellamy”

When Matt Bellamy was driving he saw a sign that said, “Caution: Small Children Playing.” So he slowed down, but then it occurred to him: Matt Bellamy isn’t afraid of small children.

Matt Bellamy once tried to snowboard, however the snow promptly turned to water after wetting itself in excitement that the Matt Bellamy would be there.

If at first you don’t succeed, obviously your not Matt Bellamy

Matt Bellamy does not flirt, he folds his arms and smiles. Women within 50 feet of him are immediately inseminated.

Matt Bellamy drinks napalm to quell his heartburn

Matt Bellamy uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Matt Bellamy invented Kentucky Fried Chicken’s famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Awesomeness

If you spell Matt Bellamy in scrabble, you win. Forever.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Mattatorship.