Book Titles That The Authors REALLY Should Not Have Released

Games you can play with your what!?

worst book titles

Turn Her On Without Saying a Single Word

Where do you even start with this one? A title that was supposed to be innocent is now seen as a global joke for a title meaning something else. The sad thing is, this book is actually about games you can play with your cat. But because of the unfortunate title, most people are only going to see one other possibility.

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Why, Eleanor, why?

worst book titles

I can only assume that Eleanor is a master at stripping quilts, based on her cover. But based on the title alone, you would think she was a master at stripping something else. Another example of how a seemingly innocent title and cover can come across to mean something so drastically different.

Thanks for the heads up

Malcolm Bradbury seems to have a very low opinion of the human race if he thinks the he needs to write a book about why eating people is wrong. I was under the assumption that the majority of people were already aware that eating other people was wrong, but apparently not.

The missionary position?

This is possibly one of the most awkward book titles I have ever come across. A picture of Mother Teresa, with the title “The missionary position.” Okay, she is a missionary. I get that. But did you have to put it like that? The only thing people are going to think about this book is that Mother Teresa is teaching people about the theory and practice of the missionary position. And that is not good.

Did you have to add that?

Okay, we get it. You want to help women succeed in business. But did you really have to be that graphic about it? There were so many other ways you could have titled this book to give the exact same meaning. Instead you just wrote penis. Shame on you Karen.

You can keep this one, I don’t want it.

worst book titles

No one wants a pocket book full of boners. No one. I have no idea what this writer was thinking naming his children’s book like this, but clearly he wasn’t thinking right. I don’t know what self-respecting parent would get their kids a book about boners in pockets.

Thanks for letting me know

worst book titles

Wow. The thing that makes this title especially bad is that it is actually aimed at children. There is no satire here, this book is legitimately telling children their mother drinks because of them. I mean, it could honestly be true, I don’t know. But I think it’s still a little far, especially when these are meant to be quality religious books.

Isn’t that illegal?

worst book titles jpg

This woman has a passion for donkeys. How deep does her passion go? I don’t know, and I don’t want to speculate. All I know is that, that title and that image together gives off a pretty weird vibe. I can only hope her passion doesn’t exceed legal bounds, if you know what I mean.

Tractors need love too!

worst book titles

As if that woman and her weird passion for donkeys wasn’t bad enough, now we have this guy who seems to be in love with his tractor. With the weird look on his face and the way he is holding that machine, I can only imagine that the tractor has seen so terrible, terrible things over the years.

I don’t think that’s how it works…

worst book titles

Pro tip here. If you want to raise your IQ, there are plenty of things you can do. Eating gifted children will not help. If anything it will just prove that you are an extremely stupid person. I can only hope the writer was being satirical, which I am almost sure that he was. But with what I have seen today, there is always that doubt that maybe he is just insane, like the rest of these authors.