You're Fucking Out !!!

These are some of my favorite Kenny Powers Quotes from the show Eastbound and Down on HBO -


When my ass was 19 years old I changed the face of Professional Baseball.

I'm the man who has the ball. I'm the man who can throw it faster than fuck. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my dick... everyone.

Kenny Powers: Ya'll get that tanning bed i sent ya'll last year?
Cassie Powers: Yeah, you mean the one you sent three years ago?
Kenny Powers: Wow. Three years... hmm. Well, it IS a tanning bed

I'm sick and tired of carrying all the weight, the coaches and owners not giving me the shit I need to win. Atlanta, you're fucking out. Kenny Powers is now a free agent. Let's buy the bar and get shitfaced. Get me paid, bitch!
kenny powers

Kenny Powers: When we were kids, me and your Dad used to beat the shit out of these retard brothers that used live down the street from us. Hilarious! I mean this guy was the most ruthless one! Now, I'm sittin here, he's got a family, nice shirt on.
Cassie Powers: We try to teach our children not to make fun of others who are challenged.
Kenny Powers: Mongoloid Mike? Is that what you used to call him?
539w - you're fucking out !!!

k powers - you're fucking out !!!

But a true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies.

P.E. Kid: When you did steroids, did they make your balls shrink?
Kenny Powers: Oh, you think that's funny? How 'bout I show you my balls right now and you can tell me if they shrunk, huh? No, for your information, I have full-size balls. Next question

Kenny Powers' motivational tape: A lot of people ask me, 'Kenny Powers, you're a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?' And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it's actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.

2012 kenny powers

Terrence Cutler: There's something you need to know, Kenny. You're not the only athlete here at Jeff Davis. I happen to be training for a Triathlon right now. Doin' a lot of running, and cycling, swimming. Well you know all about that.
Kenny Powers: No actually I don't. I do SPORTS. Not try to be the best at exercising.

Kenny Powers: [on phone with prostitute] Alright, so let me get this straight. So I gotta pay for a blow job, and I gotta pay for a fuckin' hotel room too? Well that seems like I'm spending too much money for nothin' I got a house. You can just get your ass over and we could just do the blow job here. And can I wear the 'SCREAM' mask? The mask from 'SCREAM' while I do you from behind.
kennypowers33 - you're fucking out !!!

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Reply Attach
  • 2

    this made me lol

    I don't blow smoke up peoples ass's but you are an awesome person !
    - willwhite007 October 25, 2010, 1:00 pm
    as are you my soa buddy
    - triclebickle October 25, 2010, 1:03 pm
  • 1

    Eastbound and Down is awesome,I can't wait for season 2!!!

    • Pharmon
    • August 20, 2010, 12:00 pm
  • 1


    • bzumo76
    • October 16, 2010, 4:33 pm
  • 1

    fucking love this show..

    the new season is hysterical ....
    - willwhite007 October 18, 2010, 2:50 am
    Yes it is!
    the midget guy is awesome haha
    also the rich guy who talks gramaticaly incorrect
    "Thats racism bro.. i love to racism"
    - DennisDee October 18, 2010, 11:48 am
    yeah bro - I love the new episodes - some of my new favorite quotes :

    "Steve does not accept layaway. When you place a f*cking bet with Steve, you f*cking pay Steve when his f*cking cock wins..."

    "It looks like sh*t. What the hell is he doing, printing that from a JPG? Motherf*cker needs to be using TIFF files, dude. My face looks all computery and damn pixelated"

    and my new favorite

    "Remember, there is no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in c*nt. So don't be little jealous c*nts, ok?"
    - willwhite007 October 18, 2010, 1:20 pm
  • 1

    I now know what I will be downloading when I get home.

    • Albane
    • October 18, 2010, 12:42 pm
  • 1

    image02 - you're fucking out !!!

    Its a great show and the new season is funnier than last.

  • 1

    LMAO I've never seen this show but these quotes are gold.

    • TexBex
    • January 26, 2011, 10:57 am
    I think they only show it on HBO
    - MalverdeAl100 January 26, 2011, 11:07 am
    Yeah...but I'm poor and don't have cable. I guess I could watch it online, but I, eh, I'm not that dedicated.
    - TexBex January 26, 2011, 11:27 am
    Ewww poor people XD
    - MalverdeAl100 January 26, 2011, 11:29 am
    Screw you! You try living on your own during a recession! And I'm not like, stinky poor. Just I-hope-my-boyfriend-pays-for-dinner poor.
    - TexBex January 26, 2011, 11:56 am
    - MalverdeAl100 January 26, 2011, 12:01 pm
    Haha glad I could bring you the lolz.
    - TexBex January 27, 2011, 3:26 am
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