What is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

What is you choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

Mine is this....

urban bone machete mark 3 2

i got the blade from http://zombietools.net/tools/

machete - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

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  • Demono
  • January 24, 2011, 5:51 am
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  • 7

    el kabong 7 - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?


    but in all seriousness.... 20lb sledgehammer with a composite handle... enough force to smash through a crowd with 1 big swing.

    • c8r15
    • January 24, 2011, 10:14 am
  • 4

    Bring it on, motherfuckers.
    sl spoon - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    • SuDoku
    • January 26, 2011, 12:04 pm
    ah, doing some damage are we?
    - Demono January 27, 2011, 5:02 am
    Fuck yeah. Going for the monster kills here. Those dead S.o.B's aren't gonna know what's hit them..

    Know why? Because it's a fucking ladle!
    - SuDoku January 27, 2011, 5:41 am
    - Demono January 27, 2011, 6:12 am
    I have that exact spoon! :O
    - Goober January 30, 2011, 4:50 pm
  • 4

    banjo 350 - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    Yes, hats off to you.
    - Demono January 30, 2011, 5:29 am
    No one realises that the tweenkies he seeks are right there behind him!!!!!
    - artgirl2443 September 14, 2012, 4:45 pm
    But are they vegan Twinkies?
    - CallMeGoogle September 16, 2012, 12:02 am
  • 4

    Probably the lightsaber i found under my moms bed

    definitely not a lightsaber
    - wasp609 June 18, 2011, 7:02 am
    that is a very horrible thing to say!
    - MissRandom November 5, 2011, 5:57 pm
    I know, i know.
    - MalverdeAl100 November 6, 2011, 12:13 pm
    hmmm.. fine..
    - MissRandom November 6, 2011, 12:58 pm
    Sorry if that offended you. Or made you uncomfortable and junk
    - MalverdeAl100 November 6, 2011, 1:00 pm
    no no.. i felt bad about your mam :)
    - MissRandom November 6, 2011, 1:05 pm
    - Inedibleedible May 9, 2012, 11:39 am
  • 3

    Baseball bat... can't go wrong with one.

    Baseball bat epic

    Oh yes you can! According to the Zombie Combat Manual, It has a moderate effectiveness and you can probably kill around 20 zombies before it needs repair or replacement! Good for a small hoarde, but not the most effective!
    - mariofox03 March 29, 2011, 6:06 pm
    I have a katana as a back up...
    - SuperPost March 30, 2011, 10:59 am
    that's a little better. A mediocre melee weapon, has a life span of 150+ zombie engagements, requires some skill and the cost is expensive, but the effectiveness is moderate to high depending on how skilled you are at it.
    - mariofox03 March 30, 2011, 3:21 pm
    Lol... i can fight ok-good with it.. not perfect but its enough... then me and my friend are going to hijack a plane full of food and supplies and fly to the tundra!
    - SuperPost March 30, 2011, 3:23 pm
    ok then... see ya on the other side...
    - mariofox03 March 30, 2011, 3:26 pm
    Uh... after i die of old age?
    - SuperPost March 30, 2011, 3:30 pm
    lolz! no! I meant after the zombie apocalypse with about a hundred other sharenators
    - mariofox03 March 30, 2011, 4:55 pm
    - SuperPost March 30, 2011, 4:58 pm
    LOL! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
    - mariofox03 March 30, 2011, 5:18 pm
    Im not going to die because of some vampires
    - SuperPost March 30, 2011, 5:20 pm
    you are if Edward is one of them...XD
    - mariofox03 March 30, 2011, 5:21 pm
    OH FUCK NO! *loads shot gun* ITS ZOMBIE TIME BITCHES!
    - SuperPost March 30, 2011, 5:24 pm
  • 3

    It is Melee i am hitting them

    800px gleaner l2 - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    That's not melee, that's a vehicle.
    I will have a post soon on this subject.

    Edit: the post is http://www.sharenator.com/what_is_your_choice_vehicle_for_a_zombie_apocalypse/
    - Demono January 31, 2011, 4:06 am
  • 2

    stabcane121610 - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    insert a bit of festive cheer into their skulls
    - JonnymusPrime January 24, 2011, 11:56 am
  • 2

    cactus - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

  • 2

    acid picdump 12

    cool amazing odd fun weird who me 20090723152021800

    • Omais
    • August 15, 2011, 3:18 pm
    i dont think the first one counts
    looks more ranged. nice pic though
    - Demono August 20, 2011, 9:10 pm
  • 2

    Time for me to hit the gym to use this
    mother fuking claymore

    but for now i am a

    angryvikingbaby - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

  • 2

    Most definitely an aluminium baseball bat in my right hand(with strap on handle so I don't lose it in combat) and Captain Americas virtually indestructible shield on my left arm.

    midwest aluminium bat

    sheild - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

  • 1

    Chinese Hook Swords

    41iv1rfnewl ss400 - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    • gemie89
    • January 24, 2011, 6:14 am
    i dont like those, for them to even be useful you have to be skilled with them.

    If you are you can decimate zombies.
    - Demono January 24, 2011, 9:31 am
    - gemie89 January 24, 2011, 12:12 pm
    Jet is an arsehole.
    - Jackylegs January 26, 2011, 12:09 pm
    correction* he was an arsehole...
    - gemie89 January 26, 2011, 12:19 pm
    Did he die?
    I thought Kitara just froze him to a tree?
    - Jackylegs January 26, 2011, 12:34 pm
    If you've seen the whole series you would know what happens :)
    - gemie89 January 26, 2011, 1:18 pm
    Dude, spoiler alert!!!
    - Jackylegs January 26, 2011, 11:10 pm
    Y'know it wasnt really clear
    - DarkicoN13 January 27, 2011, 6:06 am
    what post?
    - mariofox03 November 5, 2011, 9:46 pm
  • 1

    crowbar. go all gordon freeman in their asses

    ahh good choice
    - Demono January 26, 2011, 9:37 am
  • 1

    17724 - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    the chainsaw, obviously

    • Bekenel
    • January 24, 2011, 9:33 am
    What about running out of fuel?
    - JonnymusPrime January 24, 2011, 10:09 am
    yeah, and its way to loud. Attract all kinds of zombies and humans alike.
    - Demono January 24, 2011, 10:43 am
    doesn't matter, just swing it in circles, but there isn't much chance of that anyway. And it had better attract a lot of zombies or it's a waste
    - Bekenel January 24, 2011, 11:19 am
    there is still the fuel and attracting zombies is not good unless your on a search and destroy mission or you want to die.
    - Demono January 26, 2011, 9:37 am
  • 1

    really though...a cane sword. you can never go wrong with a cane sword

    to thin to be affective you need something that can cut through bone like butter or smash it's way through
    - 24paperwings August 21, 2011, 12:30 pm
  • 1

    damages heads and limbs to keep enemies a good space away, requires little to no training to be effective. easily carried and no moving parts to break.
    mace medieval weapon 2

  • 1

    an ice pick tied to a bamboo pole because if you just have to destroy the brain then why no do it from high up or far away

    Is that for when you are defending a position?
    - Demono January 30, 2011, 4:41 am
    against zombies yes
    - triclebickle January 30, 2011, 2:03 pm
    well it might be good then.
    - Demono January 31, 2011, 4:00 am
  • 1

    gosh i hope the guy with the candy cane isnt using zoom when he took this pic he might not make it rofl

    • Kodi93
    • January 25, 2011, 4:20 am
  • 1

    A sword of my own design. I would post the picture but I need to upload it on my computer first. I'll try and post it asap.

    I think we need to have a talk about what asap means.
    - Ertrov September 13, 2011, 10:22 pm
    definitely need to talk about what it means

    and this wasn't a two year bump, because the post is currently on the home page
    - Fail4424 February 3, 2014, 12:43 pm
  • 1

    A european bar mace great for smashing skulls.
    barmace - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    • Deano10
    • January 26, 2011, 10:46 am
  • 1


    images 4 - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    images 5 - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    What is that from?
    - Demono January 30, 2011, 4:40 am
    It's the Lich King's sword in WoW
    - imfrikknbad January 30, 2011, 8:58 am
    oh, k
    - Demono January 30, 2011, 10:12 am
  • 1

    board with nails

  • 1

    Nothing better than a mighty Flail.

    flail - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    Let them come in their hordes of millions, they are no match for us.

    • Goober
    • January 30, 2011, 5:11 pm
  • 1

    double ballistic knife ... and a cane knife

  • 1

    oh baby - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    • Wupwup
    • February 23, 2011, 4:57 am
    So a super sledge
    - Demono February 23, 2011, 5:40 am
    Nah it's a unique one that is freaking awesome.
    - Wupwup February 27, 2011, 1:41 am
  • 1

    Katana, mother fkrss

    dsafds - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    • Blinton
    • February 23, 2011, 5:49 am
  • 1

    envelope - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    What now?

    - Demono February 23, 2011, 9:32 am
  • 1

    fuck all yall
    Screen shot 2011 02 28 at 5 49 36 PM

  • 1

    Am I the only one that actually thought of this??
    images - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

  • 1

    hammar and a axe

  • 1

    I have a list of useable weapons thanks to the Zombie Combat Manual. Some long range weapons (I'm not talkin guns) are the Spear, the Viking Axe, the Zweihander (German Broad Sword), and the Naginata (All prices range from moderate to very expensive for Longe Range). A few medium/meele weapons are the Mace (my pick because it is so inexpensive and is very effective. It also has a high life span, but they are limited. My dad is a cop), the Kukri, the expandable baton, and the Tomahawk(Throwing weapons isn't a very good idea). Finally, we have the Close-Quarter weapons. They involve the Tanto, the Stiletto, and the Bowie (Fixed knives are better than folding knives). There are also some improvised weapons if you can't get a hand on any of the above weapons. On the farm, you can use a Landscaping Shovel, A Machete, and a Pitchfork. In the Garage, you can use a sidewalk scraper, a sledgehammer, and the crowbar. In the Toolbox, you can use the screwdriver(Very high skill level to use this), the claw hammer, and the Chisel. In the kitchen, you can use the Chef's knife, the Frying Pan, the Cleaver, and the Ice Pick. In the stadium, a baseball bat is the only durable weapon. You probably want to have 1 long-range weapon, 3 meele weapons, and about 5 short range weapons. The best weapons list:
    Best effect on zombies: Mace
    Longest Life Span(survives the most zombie attacks): Viking Axe, Sledgehammer, Crowbar, and the Frying Pan.
    Lowest skill level to master it(You can mater the use of it fast): Mace, Expandable Baton, Baseball Bat
    Availability(If it's common to find.): Screwdriver, Claw Hammer, and Baseball Bat.
    Cost: Landscaping shovel, machete, sidewalk scraper, crowbar, screwdriver, Claw Hammer, Chisel, and the Ice Pick.
    I've helped you all in Weapon Choice! To find out more on how to survive the Zombie Apocalypse, look for the book: The Zombie Combat Manual by Roger MA. Thanks and good luck!

    i dont like the spear. Not very effective
    - Demono August 15, 2011, 3:12 pm
    Just because someone makes up a lot of statistics based on his own inexperienced judgement and publishes a book of them does not make him right. You don't need skill for a katana, a baseball bat would last plenty of zombies, plus a bunch of other inaccuracies shown in your text.

    Definitely katana all the way, unless lightsabres are allowed.
    - Jackylegs August 21, 2011, 4:53 am
  • 1

    Personally i would go with a crowbar a small one small lightweight and can easily go through a skull

  • 1

    I'm goin' with my 6" 1911 grasping the slide using the grip as the end of a hammer.

  • 1


    • Ertrov
    • September 13, 2011, 10:24 pm
  • 1

    The process for choosing weapons comes down to this:

    Zombies are killed by brain destruction or decapitation. Then we have to ask, which of these is easier to achieve? I'd have to go with decapitation. You know where to aim, and it's obvious when you've been successful, unlike with the alternative. Who knows what type of blow is correct for fulfilling the ambiguous task of "destroying the brain"?
    Then we ask which method would be most effective for decapitation?
    I go with lightsabre, or katana if we're playing realistic. This is because it's a zombie APOCALYPSE. We're not talking take-out-one-or-two-zombies, we need to kill lots of them! And a weapon like a claymore is just going to tire someone out.
    This is how I came to the conclusion that the ideal weapon would be long, light and with a very sharp edge.

    Guns are stupid. The chances of hitting all the zombies in the head is small, and hitting them anywhere else will at best hold them off for awhile instead of killing them. Ammo runs out. The noise attracts more zombies. Guns are heavy. They require cleaning, they can jam, parts can break, all factors which do not apply to something like a katana.

    TL;DR: Katana is best because it's light, simple, easy to use, durable, and effective, guns are stupid because there are too many negative factors acting upon them.

    Are you serious? Guns are stupid? Do you even know what you are talking about. True, guns have negative factors, but so does everything else. Only some guns are heavy, and that is all about your chosen guns. The cleaning is not a big deal in most cases, and you will have to clean your katana every so often. They jam, well katana's get stuck. Parts can break if you mistreat it, and even if they break when you treat them right, any weapon can and will break over time. So when you say that all the factors do not apply, that is a very dumbass statement.The katana is very sharp, and is good at close range, but what other uses does it have. And can a Katana take out a zombie at a 100 yards... I dont think so. And the only time that your chances are slim to hit the head of a zombie is if they are out of range, or you just suck. Either way you shouldn't be wasting the ammo in the first place. Katana would be an effective killing tool, but what other practical uses does it bring to the table. None. Machete can cut brush and even some wood with out much wear on the blade. Crowbar can be used for prying, and to bash in skulls. And truthfully, a smashed skull seems a lot easier. It is a lot bigger target and it will almost always score a clean kill. The katana is long and cumbersome, even if its light. Try using a katana effectively in a tight passage way. A shotgun, pistol, or even crowbar would be better in this situation. So in conclusion, think more when you try to dismiss something like guns.
    - Demono November 11, 2011, 6:04 pm
    A katana can indeed take out a zombie at 100 yards, if you walk 99 of them. You don't need to be far away, zombies are SLOW. The chances of hitting a zombie in the head from 100 yards are small for the vast majority, including myself, and if this is not the case for you, congratulations. You're representing a minority.

    An attempt to do this without the required skill renders most guns useless and basically a dead weight.
    You do bring up a good point about narrow hallways though, so I'm willing to admit guns would be useful in that situation.

    cleaning - quick wipe of the blade on grass or similar, maybe polish off the hilt
    breaking parts - it a long thin chunk of metal, it doesn't break to the point of being useless, and in the unlikely event of it doing so, you can always have a backup. They're light.
    - Jackylegs November 12, 2011, 1:07 am
    You make good points, and dont get me wrong i love katanas. They are probably the best blade on the planet, but there really is no other practical use. And being realistic, you are probably never going to find a true katana in the zombie apocalypse. Plus it takes a pretty high level of skill to decapitate a zombie, and you have to have enough force to do so. At that range, almost anybody would have a much easier shotgun or pistol kill. Plus, if a katana breaks, usually the rest of the katana is weak,dull and on the verge of breaking. They are light for their size, but their length makes them cumbersome, and finding a nice sheath for one would be hard as well. Having a backup is a given, but you can not push guns out of the equation. People trained or skilled in the use of a katana are a lot more rare than those or are trained or skilled in the use of guns. If you are, then congratulation, your part of an even smaller minority. The effectiveness of guns is not all measured in headshots. the hydrostatic shock that destroy soft tissues will destroy the decaying bodies of the undead. And another thing, until the zombie apocalypse actually does happen, we won't know if they will be slow or fast. We can assume and argue all we want, but when it comes down to it, we can't really know for sure. And I don't know about you, but I'm takin both. If I die, i want to go down with a machete in one hand, and a pistol in the other.(maybe some C4 strapped to my back rigged to blow)
    - Demono November 12, 2011, 10:17 pm
    I can't agree with you that katanas require much skill to use effectively. They're basically a long machete, and sheaths usually come with them. Getting a gun in the zombie apocalypse would be much harder for me, I live in Australia :P

    With the slow or fast thing, and the rule that you must destroy the brain or decapitate, I'm just going with the most prominently seen attributes in pop culture.
    You converted me about guns, I agree that they're useful, but I can weigh up between using a katana and using a gun, and the katana seems as though it would be far more useful in most situations, unless I had some sort of explosive, or a shotgun at close range.

    I love that we've typed several hundred serious words about zombies XD
    - Jackylegs November 13, 2011, 2:48 am
    Fair enough, and about the Australia thing, I live in Texas. I have multiple guns in my house. My neighbor has guns in his house. My grandpa down the block has guns.Not to mention that we have explosives that are set off by guns. And the pop culture could be right, or be ass-backwards. Either way, im gettin ready. I have never seen anyone but the knive stores having katanas, and those are almost always fake. I can see how my situation is quite a bit different than yours. And I too, love how zombies can conjure up so many passionate words.
    - Demono November 13, 2011, 10:06 am
  • 1

    mlptolerate - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

    But seriously ↓
    Sephiroth s Masamune AC by NoenGaruth

    A nodachi nice!! I have one but its only 6ft long :P
    - skyheat77 November 6, 2011, 12:11 am
    Please. For the love of god. Never post ponies on Sharenator ever again.
    - Jackylegs November 6, 2011, 7:18 am
    I don't know the actual name of it. That's a picture of Sephiroth's sword, the masamune.
    - XxDaminalsxX November 6, 2011, 9:27 am
    there is nothing wrongs with ponies personally I'm a brony I watch it for the plot.
    - skyheat77 November 6, 2011, 4:32 pm
    Sephiroth's is a oversized nodachi or odachi I can't remember what the difference is mines nothing compared to his as you can see but it gets the job done.
    - skyheat77 November 6, 2011, 4:33 pm
    - Omen November 12, 2011, 6:47 am
  • 1

    I'd use my
    fist - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

  • 1

    Good old bluey...
    images - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

  • 1

    a friend and i have several army grade swords that we bought for an impending Zombie Apocalypse. We also fashioned a belt that we wear EVERY day, it holds a mini Maglight (one of the ones that have the candle function and also has SOS built in to it by turning the head rapidly 3 times, built-in extra light), an army grade spring-loaded knife made of surgical steel (has a seat-belt cutter and a window breaker), matches, butane lighter, flint and magnesium block, and several other survival must-haves (including a compact thermal blanket that we dont carry around because we feel silly enough xD) I also have a huge Maglight that one end is super heavy and solid steel (acquired it when i was a security guard for the RCMP [guarded race horses]). people say we are taking things too far. but while we are preparing for an onslaught of flesh-eating zombies, they are laughing... we'll see who's laughing in the end.

    You sir, deserve a crown. Or better yet, some bacon.
    - Demono December 22, 2011, 11:55 am
  • 1

    its a:
    deathscythe - what is your choice melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse?

  • 1

    melee weapon ninja forearm machete blade full tang knife sword

  • 1

    My Penis.
    It's huge.
    I'd save the world in moments just by swinging angrily through the crowds.
    It's like this picture, but backwards.
    You're welcome.
    lightning penis

  • 1

    I got a motherfuckin piano!!!!

  • 1

    Spiked Gauntlets

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