How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she’s been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%..
It’s called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

You might be interested


Reply Attach
  • 2

    what does a socket and a woman have in common?
    if you are in the wrong hole you are in the ass

    well looks like you cant translate this joke in english lol
    in the ass = fucked or dead

    well doesnt matter I just hope to start a collection of jokes so everyone would post some and stuff

    I have another one thats better:
    whats blue and walks from the kitchen to the living room and back?
    everyone can paint their wife in the color they want to!

    whats the difference between big foot and a intelligent woman?
    big foot was seen before.

    whats harder: a male or female snowman(woman)?
    a female snowman because you have to empty the head.

    how can you find the bellybutton of a woman?
    you have to go down her back with your finger and when your finger locked the third time you found it.

    what were the last words of the captain on the challenger?
    now I let a woman drive it.

    men prefer the simple tings in life: women

    and so on lol

    • Vans
    • April 28, 2011, 4:38 pm
  • 1

    Goooooooogle.... *shakes head* *laughs on the inside*

    Haha. You know they're true.
    - CallMeGoogle April 28, 2011, 4:16 pm
    Hopefully not the black eye one! For shame!!!!
    - ClassicDarlingXO April 28, 2011, 4:21 pm
    The black eye one is only true if you make it true. ;]
    - CallMeGoogle April 28, 2011, 4:23 pm
    I think I'm too tough for that rule to be true. :p I DO WHAT I WANT! lol
    - ClassicDarlingXO April 28, 2011, 4:24 pm
    And you WANT to make me a sammich!
    - CallMeGoogle April 28, 2011, 4:27 pm
    And I WANT to spit on the bread first and watch you enjoy every *devious*
    - ClassicDarlingXO April 28, 2011, 4:31 pm
    Sounds like you really love them black eyes, yea?
    - CallMeGoogle April 28, 2011, 4:32 pm
    I give as good as I get. :p
    - ClassicDarlingXO April 30, 2011, 11:27 am
    Haha. I bet you really are someone that has given a few black eyes to other people.
    - CallMeGoogle April 30, 2011, 11:29 am
Related Posts