Top 22 Things Not To Say To A Cop

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you that guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 mph to keep up with me...Good job!

5. Excuse stick up hyphenated?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.

7. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

8. Bad cop! No donut!

9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

10. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?

12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

13. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonald's?

14. I pay your salary!

15. So, uh, you on the take, or what?

16. Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a warning too!

17. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

18. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are.

19. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

21. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum.

22. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

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  • 7

    I like the post, +3
    Heres a few more

    23. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
    24. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110mph.
    25. I swear to drunk I'm not god.
    26. Wait! Let me find my pants first...
    27. that's not a hooker in my back seat, that's my mother.

    28. What seems to be the officer, problem?
    - arrowdodger7 January 7, 2011, 4:32 pm
  • 1

    Haha these are amazing, shame I'd never have the balls to use any of them XD

    • SuDoku
    • January 7, 2011, 5:00 pm
  • 1

    number 8 is by far my favorite can you imagine saying that to him lmao XD

  • 0

    6. BURN

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