James Bond Arrested For Drunk Driving
James Bond was taken into custody in San Antonio last night after he crashed into a utility pole and knocked out power to 20,000 homes near Ingram Park Mall. Bond admitted he’d been drinking.
The driver we’re referring to isn’t Sean Connery or Roger Moore or Daniel Craig. The guy’s name really is James Bond.
The driver — who has has exactly zero resemblance to any of the six actors who have officially portrayed the British agent — was unhurt in the crash, which occurred around 1:30 AM. His alleged intoxicant of choice also was a far cry from 007’s painstakingly-prepared martinis as Bond was said to be buzzed on beer.
As the fictional character would say: “Smashing.”