Funny Text Messages – Dear…

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic.. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely,
Anonymous

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle

Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that door for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack
PS, you let go

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder

Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely,
The World

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

Dear Mary,
Just admit that you slept with someone else. This is getting out of hand.
Sincerely,
Joseph

And my personal favorite:
Dear Yahoo,

I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just
saying…

Sincerely,
Google

I’ve got a few more of these if you guys like them. Let me know and I’ll post the others.