Facebook Will End On March 15th

facebook - facebook will end on march 15th

PALO ALTO, CA –Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook will be shut down in March. Managing the site has become too stressful.
“Facebook has gotten out of control,” said Zuckerberg in a press conference outside his Palo Alto office, “and the stress of managing this company has ruined my life. I need to put an end to all the madness.”

Zuckerberg went on to explain that starting March 15th, users will no longer be able to access their Facebook accounts.

“After March 15th the whole website shuts down,” said Avrat Humarthi, Vice President of Technical Affairs at Facebook. “So if you ever want to see your pictures again, I recommend you take them off the internet. You won’t be able to get them back after Facebook goes out of business.”

Zuckerberg said the decision to shut down Facebook was difficult, but that he does not think people will be upset.

“I personally don’t think it’s a big deal,” he said in a private phone interview. “And to be honest, I think it’s for the better. Without Facebook, people will have to go outside and make real friends. That’s always a good thing.”

Some Facebook users were furious upon hearing the shocking news.

“What am I going to do without Facebook?” said Denise Bradshaw, a high school student from Indiana. “My life revolves around it. I’m on Facebook at least 10 hours a day. Now what am I going to do with all that free time?”

However, parents across the country have been experiencing a long anticipated sense of relief.

“I’m glad the Facebook nightmare is over,” said Jon Guttari, a single parent from Detroit. “Now my teenager’s face won’t be glued to a computer screen all day. Maybe I can even have a conversation with her.”

Those in the financial industry are criticizing Zuckerberg for walking away from a multibillion dollar franchise. Facebook is currently ranked as one of the wealthiest businesses in the world, with economists estimating its value at around 7.9 billion.

But Zuckerberg remains unruffled by these accusations. He said he will stand by his decision to give Facebook the axe.

“I don’t care about the money,” said Zuckerberg. “I just want my old life back.”

The Facebook Corporation suggests that users remove all of their personal information from the website before March 15th. After that date, all photos, notes, links, and videos will be permanently erased.


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  • 9

    ya know what else happens on march 15th new Rise Against album

    ooh... i like
    - MIKYTEY February 24, 2011, 8:24 am
    FUCK. YES! I'm so unbelievably excited for this :D
    - SuDoku February 24, 2011, 8:53 am
    i have a feeling that this might devolve into a discussion on how awesome rise against is and i have no problem with that
    - Tremp20k February 24, 2011, 10:04 am
    You are right and I have no problem either. But they need to start announcing dates in the UK soon, I can't wait any longer. I need to see them for a third time :D
    - SuDoku February 24, 2011, 10:16 am
    - 24paperwings February 24, 2011, 10:42 am
    Dude, I can't wait for the new album. And I already have a ticket to see them live May 2nd in Philly. SO PUMPED!
    - xlivewire7x February 24, 2011, 10:42 am
    peta. That is all.
    - Firebird92 February 24, 2011, 10:58 am
    I can't, so excited! Maaaan jealous! They've not announced anything in the UK yet! Sad panda. :(
    - SuDoku February 24, 2011, 11:24 am
    i have to admit cant wait to see them, MCR and New found Glory at leeds.
    - Soraking007 May 18, 2011, 4:34 am
  • 8

    Your face

    trollface 1 - facebook will end on march 15th

    ha ha you got me
    - bigredkev February 24, 2011, 3:55 pm
  • 5

    This was the least believable prank i think i've ever seen.

  • 5

    I'm pretty sure I saw this on The Onion...

  • 4

    Obvious troll is obvious.

  • 2

    If this is true, i highly doubt it though, FUCK YEAH!

  • 2

    If you're not trolling us, then you need to get some Internet education...


  • 2


    Computerworld - No need to worry that Facebook will shut down on March 15, as reported by the supermarket tabloid Weekly World News.

    Facebook quickly dispelled rampant online rumors that the site will be shut down for good on March 15. The rumors spread after Weekly World News, best known for stories about UFOs, aliens and the like, published a story over the weekend saying that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced he was shuttering the company because it had become too stressful for him.

    Facebook's quick reply: "We didn't get the memo about shutting down, so we'll keep working away like always. We aren't going anywhere; we're just getting started."

    "It's hard to believe that anyone would take this seriously," said Dan Olds, an analyst at Gabriel Consulting Group. "But Weekly World News readers probably have bigger things on their minds, like their story about aliens attacking Earth in 2011 or the story about developing the skills to be invisible and levitate."

    The rumors come just a week after Goldman Sachs and Digital Sky Technologies invested $500 million in the company, which gives Facebook a valuation of $50 billion. Shortly thereafter, leaked financial documents shows that Facebook generated a profit of $355 million on $1.2 billion in revenue during the first nine months of 2010.

    The financials began leaking out last Friday thanks to a not-very-secretive 101-page document that Goldman Sachs is sent to potential Facebook investors. Citing an unnamed source who had reportedly received the document, Businessweek reported that Facebook is on a path to generating $1 billion in profit this year.

    • ember
    • February 24, 2011, 10:32 am
    Good cuz i just made one like two hours ago and i signed the petition
    - MalverdeAl100 February 24, 2011, 10:34 am
    Only two hours ago? You missed suicide day, they were mad after all the trolls said sorry, me included then two hours latter said lol jk. And pic dumped pokeman, suicide, necrofelia, gay porn, naked ladys, suicided jokes, and ROYAL BLUE! you should have been there it was great we all got banned XD
    - ember February 24, 2011, 11:15 am
    Yeah just two hours ago. I was afraid i would get addicted and it happened XD
    - MalverdeAl100 February 24, 2011, 11:20 am
    It is fun, Did you see peacefags yet? We are all pretending to be hippies untill the last two days of the event.
    - ember February 24, 2011, 11:52 am
    Nope i don't know what peacefags are ???
    - MalverdeAl100 February 25, 2011, 9:59 am
    It is called a day for peace, we call them peacefags. I think my event is better, it is a day for peace and bacon. The bacon makes it better.
    - ember February 25, 2011, 11:46 am
    peacefags, never heard of that before ????
    - bigredkev February 25, 2011, 3:49 pm
    On FB ????
    - MalverdeAl100 February 25, 2011, 3:56 pm
    - ember February 26, 2011, 2:31 pm
  • 2

    if it was real i would beg him for it. i need the money

    • hightec
    • February 24, 2011, 11:50 am
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