Better than sex?

Why cellphones are better than sex:
1. You never have to prepare meals for your phone: in fact, it will help you get food delivered.
2. You can tell a phone to be silent or choose to ignore a phone without hurt feelings.
3. You can turn a phone on several times in a row – it’s always ready to go and it’s energy will lasts for hours (if not, you can just replace the battery).
4. A cell phone doesn’t care if you talk while the basketball game is on. In fact, the cell phone will let you watch Pride and Prejudice for the 27th time instead, if that’s what you want.
5. It has a call history that you can easily access to see if anyone else is pushing your phone’s buttons.
6. A cell phone is a silent witness to your long chats with your friends and does not make any sarcastic comments about them afterwards.
7. A cell phone doesn’t keep you from asking for directions, in fact it will get them for you.
8. A cell phone is almost always in your car yet it never comments on your driving.
9. A cell phone set to T9 mode will hang on to your every word and anticipate what you are trying to say.
10. And there’s always that handy vibrate mode if you get lonely…

Why sports are better than sex:
Why sports are better than sex:
1. People watch and cheer when you score.
2. If you don’t like your team you can wait until your contract ends and then play with someone else.
3. You can count on it all season.
4. You can watch it going on in your local bar.
5. It lasts over an hour and might even go into over time.
6. You can have a coach on the sidelines while you are doing it.
7. Action replays.
8. Protective equipment can be washed and re-used.

Why soccer is better than sex:
1. You can be on top for 80 minutes and still come in second.
2. You can score using your head or your feet.
3. Size doesn’t matter. (, The O’Byrne Files

Why hockey is better than sex:
1. A two-on-one or three-on-one is common.
2. People still play hockey after they are married.
3. Periods only last 20 minutes.
4. You can change players on the fly.

Why juggling (…juggling?) is better than sex:
1. You can juggle your balls in front of your grandma.
2. You don’t need a partner.
3. There’s nothing wrong with having blue balls.

  • Dannyl
  • November 26, 2009, 8:10 am
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  • 4

    What is better than sex... not having to make a commitment to the one you have sex with....

  • 2

    Dating a vampire:

    Fans of the book or the movie Twilight know that you can’t have sex with your vampire boyfriend or he will probably kill you in a passionate fit. But you’re willing to make that sacrifice because you just love him so much.

    He’s so wonderful that it’s all worth it – he’s extremely handsome, drives an expensive car, and he actually glitters in the sunlight. (Now what teen girl isn’t a sucker for glitter?)

    Did I mention that he might sneak into your bedroom and stare at you all night while you are sleeping? Or that he’s condescending, emotionally distant, and rather sarcastic? Oh, and his body is ice cold, he’s murdered people in the past, and his friends and family instinctively want to drink your blood?

    But I don’t care, mom, he’s dreamy!

    • Dannyl
    • November 26, 2009, 8:10 am
  • 1

    whats better than sex? urm...NOTHING!

  • 1


  • 1

    yea whoever made this is a fucking moron... first of all your cell phone comparison is comparing to a relationship/marriage
    and for sports.... if your sex has never lasted longer than an hour you might as well be a one pump chump

  • 1

    it was written by some girl in america, it's meant to be funny not serious.

    oh and lol @ one pump chump

    • Dannyl
    • November 26, 2009, 4:41 pm
  • 1

    maybe those are better than sex, because YOUR GAY and just TAKE COCKS you fucking FAGGGET..if you ever Lose your V card...(to a girl) try this again..HOMO

    • MadNesS
    • November 28, 2009, 11:07 pm
  • 0

    to bad you never get any rabbit

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