100 Reasons Why It’s Great To Be A Women
1. We can get laid anytime we want.
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
3. We pee sitting down so it’s easier to pass out on the toilet when you’re drunk.
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg.
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
7. We get to shop at Victoria’s Secret.
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work.
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips – all we have todo is sleep with them.
11. Men light our cigarettes for us.
12. Men hold the door open for us.
13. We pout better. (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
14. We’re cuter.
15. We lie better.
16. We’re better manipulators.
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves – you guys get the couch.
18. We always have food in the fridge.
19. We don’t worry about losing our hair.
20. We always get to choose the movie.
21. We don’t have to mow the lawn.
22. We don’t have to take out the garbage.
23. We don’t have to paint the house or walls.
24. PMS – yet another excuse to bitch at men.
26. We can con our way out of anything – not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole.
27. Men unlock our side of the car first – a real bonuswhen its cold.
28. PMS is a legal defense for murder.
29. Men are like tiles, lay ’em right the first time you can walk all over em forever.
30. We can masturbate more in a day than men.
31. 2 words – multi orgasmic!
32. We don’t have to constantly adjust our genitals.
33. Sweat is sexy on us.
34. We never run out of excuses.
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often.
36. Doggie style – that way we get to watch the game, too. (Ok that’s nasty)
37. We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.
38. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time because men screw up so often.
39. We can give “the look” that will make any man want tocower in the corner.
40. Women are cleaner.
41. Women have more than one erogenous zone. (in case you guys didn’t know)
42. We’re better arguers.
43. We don’t always have to think with our genitals.
45. We’re better parents.
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night.
47. There’s never a shortage of ready, willing, and able men.
48. We’re flexible.
49. When women get upset, we don’t destroy property or hurt people – we just take it out on the world in general because we can.
50. Menopause – thank heaven we’re not capable of having children after we’re 50.
51. Menstruation – just another excuse to use so we can say”no” to sex.
52. Men in uniform.
53. We look great in there clothes. They look crazy in ours.
54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there’s no messy cleanup.
55. It generally takes us less to get drunk.
56. We have a higher tolerance to pain.
57. We often get to cut in line.
58. Most women actually look good in short shorts – men DON’T.
59. Better tips.
60. Women who don’t wear underwear are considered sexy andwild, when men do it, it’s rather disgusting.
61. We have mastered civilized eating – we don’t embarrass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public.
62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting – thank heaven for long pants and perfume!
63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want.
64. We don’t have excessive amounts of body hair. (Most of us)
65. We don’t spend 45 minutes on the toilet.
66. Men will pay us for sex.
67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesn’t make us sterile.
68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return.
69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want.
70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us.
71. Women sweat less.
72. Women smell better.
73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don’t have to waste money on flowers or cards – a blow job and sex fixes all.
74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats.
75. Women don’t get the humor in the three stooges.
76. Women have three accessible holes.
77. We don’t get embarrassed when buying tampons.
78. We’re better gossips.
79. We have better fashion sense.
80. We’re better shoppers.
81. We don’t have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man.
82. Our friends don’t pick on us if we aren’t sleeping with anyone.
83. Men don’t know what our ‘girl talk’ is all about (and I’m not gonna tell you)
84. We’re all sitting on a gold mine – we know it and use it to our extreme advantage.
85. We don’t have to drive when on a date.
86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable – ugly men are just screwed.
87. Women can use the old “that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn” line.
88. Women know how fake it.
89. Women look better naked.
90. We know that rhythm doesn’t only pertain to dancing.
91. When women are short, we’re petite. When men are short, they’re just short.
92. Women do less time for violent crimes.
93. Women don’t have to worry about not being able to getit up.
94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time anynight.
95. Women’s conversations generally consist of more than just “uh huh, yep ok then bye”
96. Women don’t need an excuse to be in a bad mood.
97. Women never have to see combat.
98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves.
99. Women are sexier.
and the 100th reason its better to be a woman – this one is definitely worthy of reiteration:
100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!